Yesterday was our typical day - boys were up at 6 am, hit the bus stop by 6:45, returned from school at 3:00, took care of homework and packing up for the next day, went to their friends' house to play at 4:00, helped make individual pizzas for a late dinner at 7:00, and after showers, were all in bed and asleep by 8:30. Typical day. What was not so typical is that one year ago AJ was being released from the hospital. What a difference a year makes. That was a day filled with jubilation and anxiety - would we be able to care for him, manage his line and his medicines, and keep him safe from germs? I remember that day feeling so conflicted. I wanted to be out of that hospital so badly but I almost didn't want him to leave behind the safety its walls and staff had provided. It is hard to believe that was a year ago. Yesterday was so completely different and so completely normal. To tell you the truth, I am not sure if we even mentioned the "anniversary."
Our lives are now filled with soccer practices and games, school, playdates, Cub Scouts, and Church. Instead of counting days post-transplant, we are counting down to Jacker's 4th birthday (in 9 days), the start of Miami's football season (in 14 days), and our trip to Disney (in 24 days), plus the Canes beating Florida State ( in 52 days - I said it last year and it worked so we are gonna try it again!) We are getting excited about Halloween and getting costumes ready, anxiously anticipating the cooler fall weather and changing leaves, planning a trip to Gatlinburg for Thanksgiving, and believe it or not, I have even already gotten some Christmas gift requests. Our days and our lives are filled with all of the typical things that come along with raising four very active, HEALTHY, not-so-little boys.
We have moved so close to completely putting AJ's illness behind us. It is no longer the driving force that affects every move and decision. We have finally recaptured that sense of freedom that had been ripped away from us. That sense of normalcy that we all take for granted. Our lives are not dictated by doctors appointments, restrictions, and medicine. It is odd in some ways and completely freeing in others. Not a day will ever go by that I will not stop and give thanks to the Lord for saving our child and preserving our family. But everyday I am learning to let go of the pain, the anxiety, and the fear, and to make room for the fun and the laughter, and to embrace life. I have said this before, but normal has never felt so good!
Hug your little ones and never take a second for granted!
Love to you all,
Cindy
