One year ago today AJ hit his head resulting in a bruise far greater than the hit should have produced. When we added this to other physical symptoms we were noticing, we knew there was a problem. But we definitely were not prepared for what was to come. We were sucker punched the following day by his extremely low blood counts, thus beginning this life-changing journey.
Today is filled with conflicting emotions because we are absolutely thrilled and thankful for AJ's health and how far we have come in this year, but the reality of all he has been through, and all our family has been through still stings. As I flipped through a 2009 calendar where I had noted all the appointments and platelet transfusions, and recorded all the test results, I realized today is just the first of many "anniversaries." The anniversary of the day he was diagnosed...the day we found out he needed a transplant...the day we found out Austin was a match...the day his treatment began. As we look towards those days it is hard not to relive the uncertainty and fear that accompanied them. I am sure the day will come when I can discuss the past year without my voice cracking or tears welling up in my eyes -- but then again, maybe it won't. The experience has changed me forever and will always be with me. It has changed our whole family.
So for today, still carrying a heavy heart, I will acknowledge our struggles but I will more importantly try to embrace how far we have come. I will celebrate that AJ has only one more week of his much-despised anti-rejection medication. I will celebrate that he continues to meet or far exceed every expectation. I will celebrate each of the upcoming "firsts" post-transplant - attending a friend's birthday party, eating out at a restaurant, participating in a soccer practice - all which will likely take place this week. I will simply celebrate still having my child. So one year from having the wind knocked out of me, I can breathe again.....one breath at a time.
Love to you all!
Cindy
